thicker | the Drunk Meme

Long live the revolution!
Seems someone's getting their celebrate up by spiking the public supply of grubpunch, and as a result, the invertestuck cast is on their way to a rascally evening of drunkenness.

How it's going down, clown:
1 ☈ Post a blank (or not) comment with your character or threadjack the bejegus out of everyone.
2 ☈ Other people will come by and respond. When they do, they can either roll a number 1-7 or pick the side effect of their heart's desire.
3 ☈ Your companion is now drunk, (alternatively both of you are drunk, or you can both roll for different side effects) according to the following side-effects:

1 ☈ Happy Drunk, also known as the 'Everything is Funny' Drunk. Like the name suggests, you just can't keep these guys down. They laugh at everything, and cannot be angered or saddened.
2 ☈ Angry Drunk, also known as the 'Fighting' Drunk or 'Swearing'. Nothing pleases these guys. The man is out to get them and they are going to make you aware of it. Do anything to piss them off and they might take a swing at you, though, so watch your back!
3 ☈ Cute Drunk, also known as the 'Moe' Drunk. You don't know what it is about this drunk tonight, but they're adorable. They're cute, smiley, maybe a bit tsundere... either way, it's adorable.
4 ☈ Horny Drunk, also known as the 'I Want to Get in Your Pants' Drunk. Even if the person was a virgin beforehand, after one drink they're going to want to get it on. Any type of physical contact from gropes to making out will do, and they'll be incredibly vocal about their desires.
5 ☈ Dead Drunk, also known as the 'Can't Hold Their Liquor' Drunk. Basically, one drink and they're out cold. Feel free to try to wake them up, though.
6 ☈ Morose Drunk, also known as the 'Pessimist' Drunk or 'Cynic' Drunk. This is Eeyore if you ever got him hammered. Nothing goes right for them--even when it does--and the world's a mess! They love complaining, and won't let you get away without telling you their woes or blubbering their technicolor tears into your shirt.
7 ☈ Designated Driver, also known as the 'Sucker'. Sorry, buddy, but no drinks for you tonight. Maybe you just don't drink grubpunch to begin with, but everyone else sure is acting weird...

Feel free to mix up or alter any of the above effects however you desire.
And have fun.
Good luck taking over the troll government.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh this can't be good. Karkat Vantas, heir apparent, and adoraglub-bloodthirsty seadweller is smiling.

Wait...what.

Have him wrapping an arm around your shoulder ~~whoever you are~~, grinning like a brandy-pickled shark. And apparently it's good brandy at that.

He slurs, wobbles.]

HAVVE I EVER TOOOOOOLD YOU...THAT I LOVE THE GLUB OUTTA YOU?
HAVE.
HAWWWWWWWWWWWE...
GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB-THIS'S A NICE TENT.

[What's with sudden arm around shouldor? Nepeta turns some to see who it is grabbing her.

Oh... hey... what is with that smile? Oh nevermind. She can smell the alcohol on his breath.]

::::) < Oh?
::::) < This is news to me.
::::) < Just last week you were threatening to burn down my hive.
::::) < Should I be updating my shipping wall right now?

[So amused and not taking you seriously at all. Good Karkat. Best adorable drunk emperer.]

[Mmm...he's just staring all dreamily. Excuse him a moment, land-dwelling ears are kind of weird, he's going to inspect yours, eyeballing it thoroughly.]

Y'KNOW...WHY'D THEY CALL IT A FUGGIN' SHIPPING WALL?
'S NOT LIKE IT'S GOT BOATS IN IT OR STUFF...
WOULD THE FUGGIN' FLEET GO OUT TO SEA WITH A BUNCH OF NETS, AND JUST ASSIGN RANDOM QUADRANTS TO ANYTHING THAT CAME UP?
CONGRADDULASHUNS!
YOU'RE KISMET-ING WITH THIS GLUBBING BOOT HERE...
'S KINDA STUPID.

...'R THOSE EARRINGS REAL SKULLS?

::::) < Hmmmm...
::::) < I've never really thought about it.

[Karkat, you should get drunk more often. Your a real trip.]

::::) < Maybe. ::::)

[She never asked. She got Terezi to make them for her.]

[When he wakes up tomorrow, he's going to have the mother of all hangovers. He thinks, in hindsight, that the alcohol got into his gills, which would explain why he's out of his mind right now.

The rest of his mind, however, is thinking about boots and earrings. He fiddles with your earlobe. It's kind of cool the way the teeth go through your ear...like having little bitey squeak-beast skulls clamped to your lobes.]

...WONDER WHAT THEY'D LOOK LIKE COVERED IN GOLD...

[And probably anyone who sees him in this state won't let him live it down. Nepeta sure won't. She's going to tease him like crazy.]

::::) < Why?
::::) < Thinking of getting your own pair?
::::) < I didn't think skulls were your thing.

[He would tease himself if he saw it happening. He'd do it without mercy or relenting. He expects no less of you. Karkat wrinkles his royal nose, his facial fins giving a twitch.]

LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING, FISHNETTING SPIDEYBITCH
THERE IS NO FUCKING THING
THAT IS COVERED IN ENOUGH GOLD
THAT I WILL NOT WEAR THE FUCK OUT OF
I AM JUST THAT GLUBBING MAJESTIC.

::::) < Oh really?
::::) < Well then, Your Magesty, does that extend to golden spider jewelry?
::::) < Because I'm pretty sure I have a pair of earrings at my hive like that.

[She is really liking this idea. Playing dressup with the drunk Karkat. She wants to see just how much she can get him to wear before he either snaps that it's too much or collapses under the weight of all that bling.]

[His spine snaps straight up.]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE WAITIN' FOR?
QUICK. GRAB MY ROYAL ARM
AND WATCH AS I BLAST OFF WITH EXPLOSIVE RAINBOWS OUT OF MY GLUBBING WASTE CHUTE.
DOKI GLUBBING DOKI, BITCHFISHES!
I'M THE GOG-DAMN EMPEROR OF GLUBBING MOE!
FEAR MY MAGICAL QUADRANT POWERS!

[apparently he's serious, because he jumps onto the table. standing stiff as a board with one arm raised over his head like he's ready to blast off.]

PCHOOOOO!

[This is her trying, and failing, not to laugh.]

::::) < Oh my Gog...
::::) < I can't breath...
::::) < We need to get you drunk more often.

[Approach at your own risk, because she is pretty much staring down somberly into her bottle like it contains all the answers of the universe.

And when I say 'somberly' I don't mean the contemplative kind of somber- it's the depressed can.]

[Logic bounces off of the impervious shell of this drunken future emperor as he goes up to his best friend in all the universe, overwhelmed with fuzzy, alcoholic feelings.

He wraps his arms right around your neck, and proceeds to hug the fuck out of you. Were it possible, he'd be shedding little diamonds with every squeeze. As it is, he probably exudes shamelessness.]

YOU
ARE THE BEST PERSON EVER.
ALL THE UNIVERSE SHOULD KNOW OF YOUR MAGNIFUGENECENCE...MAGNIFI...FUCK IT.
WHAT
COULD POSSIBLY BE BOTHERING MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND EVER?
IT IS MY OFFICIABLEA-...OFFABLE? ROYAL DUTY TO CHEER YOU THE FUCK UP, SO TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS-
...

[Aaaaand...now he's taking a big sniff of your hair.]

FUCK. YOU SMELL REALLY GLUBBING AMAZING. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

[Look at your moirail.

Now look at your drink.

Now, back at your moirail.

Sadly your moirail is not your drink, but if she were she'd probably be a lot better at keeping your night going as great as you think it is. Now smell her hair- it smells like a rainstorm over a tropical garden, but if your moirail were more like your drink, you'd think you were in a tropical garden during a rainstorm.

Look at her again- now she's looking at you like you've lost your mind. Even if you have, it's not her fault, and the fact that you're entirely too close can be blamed entirely on your drink. Now her hand's pushing into your face while she takes another swig of her own drink.

You're on the floor.]

[Your name is Karkat Vantas, and somehow you're on your back on the floor.
You have no idea how that happened, but clearly your moirail is still in need of your magical quadrant powers.

You burst back to your feet, roll up your sleeves, and run back over to hug the fuck out of her, pushing forward one facial fin to blow through one of the spiracles just in front of her neck gills.

The spiracle basically being a hole designed for water flow through the mouth to the gills, happens to serve admirably as a way to try to make your sea-dwelling friend spit their drink out like some kind of demon whale. Don't try this at home.

He proceeds to latch his arms around your face.]

I EXORCISE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS WITH MY MAGICAL FRIENDSHIP POWERS.
OUT! OUT, MISERAB-BOBBLE (?) WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS THIN FUCKING AIR! MOIRAILANCE IS POWER, AND I AM THE GLUBBING DIAMOND GOD!
YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER MY BEST FRIEND!
SHE IS IMMUNE TO YOUR SHIT-VAPORS OF FEC- FECUL- FECARLUCIOUSNESS...FECULENCE! THAT'S IT! REALLY FUCKING AWFUL SMELL!

[Aaaaaand now he's nuzzling your face with his cheek fins.
This is...completely awkward...

...You probably should have destroyed his secret shoujo anime collection when you had the chance.]

[ There's a subjugglator passed out on a table. His big arms are tucked under his head and there's a contented sound rumbling in his throat.

He might have drank too much. Or he might have low tolerance. Who knows! ]

[Someone is currently in the mood for shoving people against the wall for sloppy make outs and playing grab ass.

Who's going to get caught in her web of horrible drunken pick up lines. Which are much less pick up lines and more her saying-]

1 WOULD TOT4LLY...TOT4LLY...FOR R34L, FUCK YOUR F4C3

the Drunk Meme

Karkat. Technically a 3.

Rolled a 7 so... Have a not-drunk Nepeta.

She's too classygoth to get drunk, apparently.

Apparently. XD

no subject

no subject

I'll say again: this is going to be amazingly disastrous. Someone is going to end up Princess Leia.

Oh Karkat. XD You and your bling.

Secretly he strives to be a young angry black kid.

Karkat...! XDDD

always 6

threes all over you

I'm not even sorry

XD Who would want you to be?

5

Welp, I rolled a 4- is this ironic technically?